The Trouble with Dazai
by Devin Trinidad
Summary: The various members of the Armed Detective Agency and their first thoughts regarding their most troubling coworker—a character study.


Fukuzawa Yukichi is a man who takes the most complicated of matters, the strangest of situations and seamlessly makes them work out in his favor. He is the type of man who would look Death in the face and ask if it was really his time to go. He is unflappable. He is stoic. He is quite simply—

"Ah, yes! Chief Taneda sent me here because he thought that it would be a good idea, right?" The brunet laughs, a strange dark look settling in his eyes before a look of pure innocence envelopes his features. "I mean, I heard that the Armed Detective Agency was getting a little understaffed nowadays, considering that there have been more incidents with wayward ability users...and the Port Mafia."

Fukuzawa Yukichi is quite simply baffled.

The man, for whatever reason, actually has the backing of a man that could easily off the Armed Detective Agency if they even stepped one toe out of line. How could such a man, this Dazai Osamu, with a history that looked too clean, too spotless happen to want to be part of the Agency? Very few knew about the Agency. Fewer still had the ability or the constitution to be even considered part of the Agency as a full time detective. And yet.

And yet.

The brunet stands before him, hands clasped together like an overeager schoolboy.

It doesn't take much deliberation, but Fukuzawa knows that there is a small part of him that gently murmurs, "Can you trust him?"

Fukuzawa takes a long, hard look at the bandages that adorn the man's figure like that of a newly wrapped present.

It's not long after that Fukuzawa asks Kunikida to take special care of the newest recruit.

* * *

Edogawa Ranpo doesn't have to think; he knows. He knows that there's a new recruit. He knows that his guardian, the man that he trusts with his life, is wary. He knows that the newest recruit has so many secrets, so many buried bodies in the closet that Ranpo wants to cry with laughter.

There's so much he knows at first glance, that Ranpo wants to know what he doesn't know.

As he glances at the new recruit—messy brunet curls, tan trench coat, uncovered limbs covered by bandages—Ranpo wonders what secrets he's hiding. Because what Ranpo knows about the man, is already enough confirmation that this new recruit is so much more than what he seems.

But why should Ranpo have to care? Dazai is a capable worker, Ranpo feels it. The brunet has worked too hard for too long to get his record so spotlessly clean that even Ranpo has to squint to read between the lines and sense that, yes, Dazai is so much more than what he says he is. Ranpo knows that most of his coworkers are hedging with their decision, and with that attitude, that could bring about an uncomfortable atmosphere within the Agency.

It's troubling that the introduction of the new recruit immediately breaks apart the rhythm that was so carefully cultivated during the Agency's early founding. It's simply quite exhausting watching his companions try to embrace this new member with all the trust and care that one would give to a ticking time bomb.

"Aww, Dazai! Why are you always after my candy stash, huh? I need it!"

It's also troubling that the man instinctually knows where he hides all of his candy.

A man like that shouldn't be left alone to his devices.

* * *

Kunikida Doppo is a man who can't stand the threat of delays, of unnecessary distractions.

His notebook is filled with the schedule for the day and the rules and regulations he has for himself: his ideals. What is ideal, he thinks, is to obey his superior, Fukuzawa Yukichi, to the letter. Kunikida has it written in his notebook of what being an ideal contributor to society is, so that is what he should do. However, it is not ideal, at least to him, that he should be supervising the most boisterous, rambunctious human being to ever walk the earth!

He talks of suicide, of lazing about, of things that are not ideal.

The man is not an ideal that Kunikida should ever aspire to.

Kunikida can't stand it. He can't stand the lack of motivation, the laziness that oozes out of him like molasses, the fact that the man is pretty much an alcoholic. But most of all, Kunikida can't stand him.

Suicide is not something that should be talked about with such frivolity. Suicide should not be pursued with the enthusiasm of a young child trying to coax sweets from his mother. Suicide is only meant for those who can't contribute to society because they are worthless, rubbish humans who don't know how to value life.

That is what Kunikida thinks.

That is all that Kunikida knows.

Above all else, Kunikida knows this.

"Come back, you stupid waste of bandages! It's simply not hygenic to jump around in a river!"

Never, ever let Dazai out of his sight while on a mission.

* * *

Yosano Akiko is a great doctor. One of the best actually.

Even Mori Ougai, a man with far deeper connections to her past than she cares to admit, once implored her to enter his organization as a private doctor. However, she declined because there was another opportunity waiting within the halls of the Armed Detective Agency.

However, she can fully state with confidence that she isn't the best at having a great bedside manner.

Her tone is clipped, curt even. She spares no pleasantries, has no comforting words to say unless she truly means them. Her objective is clear: if there are no lethal injuries, then she must heal them via more traditional methods. If there are lethal injuries, then by all means, let her have a little fun slicing you apart with one of her precious little tools.

"Oh my, Yosano, such a sadist!"

It's a pity, Yosano thinks as she wraps bandages around Dazai's head and spreads plaster on one of his arms. She would have a fun time bringing Dazai to the brink of death again and again if he were to wish it—she even bets that her colleague would also have a fun time tasting and testing the limits on the road to death.

Unfortunately, she can't.

Which makes her all the more irritable and weary as she heals him time after time whenever he gets into his "moods".

Kunikida calls him "stupid" and "looking for attention".

Yosano thinks "suicidal" and "depression".

In her own little way, she gifts Dazai a pamphlet with a list of doctors to help because she can't—not because she won't, but because she doesn't know how and this situation terrifies her—and she hopes that maybe, just maybe—

"No need to worry, Yosano!" He's laughing, always laughing. "I'll be fine."

Yosano doesn't think he'll be fine, but she doesn't push it.

She is a doctor, a great doctor, even. But even she can't force a patient to look after himself.

* * *

Tanizaki Junichirou doesn't like getting into fights. Like his ability, Light Snow, if there's confrontation, he's sure to stay in the background unless called to the forefront—excluding the rare case where his sister gets threatened. So when he sees that his oddest superior has a few screws loose and a mentality that seems too ostentatious, too ridiculous at times, even he gets curious.

And even he would come up with the courage to ask, "Are you all right?"

The answer he receives in reply is both measured and calculated, but at the time, seemingly so carefree and nonchalant. It's a tonal difference that has Junichirou swaying to and fro in his perspective from the backlash.

But, Junichirou doesn't push the subject. His nature, laidback and wanting to blend with the background, stops him from pursuing the matter. But he gets curious.

And so he asks the others in the Agency.

His superiors say, "Don't worry about it."

His heart tells him, "Go talk to Dazai."

But, it's his sister, Naomi, who says, "Be there for him. Support him."

And so, Junichirou relegates himself to the background but if Dazai were to ever need help, he'll be there.

* * *

Miyazawa Kenji doesn't understand city life.

He doesn't understand the basics of currency, the laws, and the lifestyle of which the people live. People here are too busy to appreciate the wonders of nature, too proud to bow down to the sun, too unlike anything Kenji has ever seen before. It's all so loud, so annoying—it's a haze of background noise and Kenji can't understand or stand it.

And then he meets Dazai Osamu.

Kenji knows that he's a good man.

There's a light hiding underneath the shadows, like flickering lightning bugs found in the distance. The man moves as fast as snake, stands as resolute as a cow, and yet he bends just for the Agency like a stalk of bamboo.

Sometimes, Kenji talks to him.

During their first conversation, Kenji is too naive, too overwhelmed by the sights of the city life to fully immerse himself in dialogue. Dazai laughs, but in a way that is all too his own, the brunet leads him to a park where they talk for a while. The scenery is dark and quiet, just like his hometown when the lights go out and the people sleep.

It's here that Kenji is disappointed with Dazai.

The man is not truthful. There's a lingering darkness, like a fog that comes in the early morning—but for his superior, it has never fully went away. The fog is thick and dense, it chokes him, but Kenji just can't seem to find a way around this obstacle.

There's so much background noise concerning Dazai, that Kenji has no choice.

He simply lets Dazai be.

Perhaps, one day, Dazai will finally open up.

* * *

Nakajima Atsushi is new. He's a novelty to the rest of his coworkers, but in turn, so are they.

He observes their relationships, their goals, their ways of greeting each other. Over time, he sees them for what they truly are: a family. However, there is something not quite right with the Agency.

Atsushi hates to admit it, but it might have something to do with his mentor.

Dazai Osamu.

It's strange, Atsushi thinks, for a man with many skills and talents to be so tired and lazy all the time. To be so talkative about death. To be so adamant that he should commit suicide.

It's even stranger, though, to see that everyone takes it in stride.

The matter is not taboo. It's never truly discussed.

It simply is because Dazai simply _is_.

Atsushi is confused and so he confides in Dazai.

To which Dazai laughs like the madman he is and tries to bribe his newest underling to do his paperwork.

Atsushi doesn't like the dark look in his mentor's eyes, but because the matter has been broached and yielded no results, there's nothing more to be done.

But if there are days when Atsushi stays a little longer with Dazai, when everything is quiet and the air is too still, no one needs to know.

* * *

Dazai Osamu knows that he's innately different than the rest of his coworkers.

It's not the sort of different that has everyone in awe of him like Ranpo or the sort of different that has everyone running for the hills like Yosano. No, he's an altogether different breed of different. In fact, one might even say that he was odd—the strangest among the already strange.

Dazai doesn't care—really, he doesn't—and he has no desire to.

His life's mission is to fulfill a friend's promise made upon the eve of death and the dawning of a new era. He feels like he's a new person—a better one, if he could really say anything positive about himself. In his heart, he hopes that he makes his old friend proud. He hopes that he has done all that he can to become a better man.

But, Dazai can never really know for sure.

Dazai is Dazai and today is a new day to pursue his pure, cheerful, and energetic suicide.


End file.
